wellpdx

Somehow in the counseling field, the word “resistance” seems to have become a catchall term for all the unhelpful things that interfere with therapy. Perhaps the client is late, forgets to bring up important topics until the very end of session, doesn’t practice her new skills at home, or is flat out non-compliant. We see that the client isn’t making the progress we’d hoped for, or maybe not in the planned number of sessions.

With my clients who are getting or staying clean & sober, there is often resistant self-talk like: “it’s not a problem;” “the problem isn’t that serious;” or “I can’t do anything about the problem.” This resistance is generally seen as something to see through or get past.

But as I work with clients in helping them find their own voice, listen to their body and trust their gut, the more I wonder about the nature of these resistances. I find a tension between supporting a client to find their own timetable and

“I was sort of offing gas,” I was saying, until I saw the puzzlement on my colleague’s face and tried to explain. It’s a scuba diver’s phrase related to how long one needs to wait on the surface before it is safe to go back underwater…Perhaps more gracefully described as purposeful pausing before I dive to depth with my next client.

In scuba it’s passive: elapsed time and breathing takes care of it. Not necessarily so for wellness practitioners. Clients bring us their stories, hurts, goals and fears, and we give our whole presence to them. Sometimes when their visit is over it is hard to come back to center, much less make ready for another person.

Depending on our work setting, we may have built-in tasks to transition the time: writing notes, cleaning the room,

“You Play, You Pay.” No, she wasn’t talking about the lottery or dating, she was talking about sports. It was my physical therapist speaking oh-so rationally about the latest injuries that had brought me to see her. Somehow that phrase hit home and set me on a line of thinking weaving through my personal and professional life.

In sports, I have been noticing the aches and pains that follow certain adventures. My analytic mind is trying to figure out how much fun can be had without pain, and at what point the pain outweighs the fun after all. I started trying to plan ahead better and ask myself, “Is this going to be worth it?” and “At what cost?”

When it is about money or time, cost concepts like spending, saving, and debt make sense to me. However, these